Tag Archives: books

Day 12: ‘It’s time to talk day’

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If you have stumbled across my blog and are thinking ‘Day 12’ of what? Have a quick read about my challenge.

Did you know ‘It’s time to talk day’? I found this out after receiving an email from Mind, the mental health charity I am involved with. The timing of this is apt because today I finished a book called, When all is said by Anne Griffins (Amazon associate link). An exquisitely written debut. The book engrossed me from the first sentence to the final word. At times, I realised I wasn’t breathing. It was captivating. Don’t just take my word for it. There are nearly sixteen thousand reviews on Amazon, many of which agree with mine. 

I won’t tell you the story. I wouldn’t want to take that pleasure away from you. What I will say is when you have read it, you will want to tell people the truth about how you feel about them and what they mean to you. How you long to be with them. It provoked a deep sadness in me. We, as humans, have a terrible habit of masking the truth. We hide our truth and vulnerability for fear of being hurt, rejected or misunderstood, yet, ‘The truth will set you free’. If you know who said that quote, please put it in the comments.

I genuinely believe that communication is the reason I am still alive today. I told people how I felt when I was in my darkest days. Many didn’t understand it, but they stuck by me like glue. I couldn’t have shaken them off even if I had wanted to. If you need to talk to someone but feel the truth is too much for your loved ones. Why don’t you. Talk to a stranger (previous blog on the subject)

I love to talk to strangers. In fairness, what I should say is that I love to listen to strangers. My husband says to me, “Why do complete strangers end up telling you their life stories? ” In short, I listen with empathy and without judgment. I allow them to expose their innermost feelings in safety. 

One day, a few years ago, I was in a dark and frightening place. Inside my mind, that is. I couldn’t verbalise it, so I took to my blog, wrote what I felt and sent it out into the ether. I received tremendous support not only from friends but also from strangers. People felt my pain and instantly came to my aid. Thank you again to all of you. You know who you are. The blog title: I want to be thinner

If you are struggling with your mental health, let someone know. If you have family and friends who will support you, great. If you don’t, pick up the phone and call Mind, The Samaritans, or another charity. They, too, will listen with empathy and without judgment. Whatever you do, don’t stay silent.


If you would like to join me on this journey, please like, subscribe and comment.

Thanks, Liz

For anyone reading my posts who has a story in them, they are struggling to tell. I would recommend getting Anne Lamott’s book ‘Bird by Bird’. It has inspired me to create this challenge and is full of great knowledge and insight. She also has a wonderful sense of humour and writing style.

If you would like to buy ‘Bird by Bird’, please use my Amazon associate link: https://amzn.to/47Pdkx7

Day 8 – “Embracing the nettle”

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Do you ever read the first few lines of a book and know you will love it? Exactly that has just happened to me. 

I find it fascinating how we all like to read different writing styles. This is my fourth book in two weeks. It’s easier to read on holiday when we don’t have all our ordinary daily tasks to do. The book I finished yesterday didn’t connect with me. I was genuinely disappointed. It was a collection of true stories, all of which had happened to the author. What happened to her was awful, frightening and sad. How she overcame it was inspiring. And yet, the book left me cold. I had no emotional connection with her. 

I decided it must be her writing style. It didn’t resonate with me. I desperately wanted it to. I kept persevering, but my feelings towards her never changed. She was somehow detached from her stories, something lacking. They were brutally honest, vulnerable and heartbreaking tales, and yet I felt no empathy. Unusual for me, last year I asked a selection of people to tell me what my best qualities were. I was working on how best to utilise my skills to serve others. Empathetic was at the top of the list. So why didn’t I feel empathy towards the author?

Last year, I started a writing course, how to write a memoir, as ultimately that is what I want to do (hence all this practising). The teacher suggests you must have moved on from what has happened to you to be able to write it objectively. Whether or not you agree with her is entirely up to you. I believe she has a point. However, I also find that when I am right in the middle of hell, it is easier to express my true emotions as opposed to writing about them retrospectively. Also, your mind has a habit of playing tricks on you. When you write about things that happened years ago, your memories may be distorted. You block things out. You alter the details. You may make them less traumatic or more so. All of these things, in my opinion, are our brain’s way of processing what has happened to us. Protecting us from the past that has damaged us in some way. One of the fears I have about writing a memoir is that I haven’t remembered things correctly and I might do myself or someone else a disservice. The teacher says to write as truthfully as you can. Therefore, that is what I’ll do.

I understand that my writing style will not be to everyone’s taste. I have accepted that. As with most things in life, you are not going to please everyone all of the time. If you think you can, you are delusional. I also know that it is one of the reasons I haven’t started my book. The fear of rejection. Someone taking, not only, all my hard work but also my experiences to pieces. This is why I am doing this challenge. Tentatively putting my toe in the water to see how the ripples flow.

A very dear friend of mine, we will call him GW, has been reading my blog. Recently, he sent me an email. Here were his thoughts:

“Fear of failure seems to be stopping you embracing the nettle, and you bounce a bit on ideas like this, and that’s a shame because I think you have it in you to write something more meaningful.”

GW – Just so you know, every time I sit down to write, I think of what you wrote. By the way, I had to look up what “embracing the nettle” meant. I know you are right. What I have noticed is that as I get to the end of what I am writing, I usually find what it is I actually want to say. What is hiding behind all the bullshit I wrote at the beginning. It’s like my brain is protecting me from my past traumas, but as I chip away at it, as the writing continues, its barriers begin to weaken, and the true meaning of the piece begins to surface. 

I imagine that’s the point of editing. You write a thousand words, of which you may only use one sentence. But that sentence may change the way people think forever.

As this challenge is all about writing and not editing, I know it will continue to have a protective layer, but that’s ok. This isn’t about an end result right now. It is all about finding my writing style, my voice and my purpose and hopefully, the end result will be helping others. Each day, I am learning and becoming less fearful. One day, I know I will be “embracing the nettle” and letting my inner self show. 

In the meantime, thank you all for your support and encouragement. If you have anything to say that will help me, please write a comment.

If you would like to join me on this journey, please like and subscribe

Thanks, Liz

If you have stumbled across my blog and are thinking “Day 8 of what? Have a quick read of this explanation:

I have set myself a challenge and need your help, (please).

For anyone reading my posts who has a story in them they are struggling to tell. I would recommend getting Anne Lamott’s book ‘Bird by Bird’. It has inspired me to create this challenge and is full of great knowledge and insight. She also has a wonderful sense of humour and writing style.

If you would like to buy ‘Bird by Bird’, please feel free to use my Amazon associate link: https://amzn.to/47Pdkx7

Day 1 – Three hundred words

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If you have stumbled across my blog and are thinking “Day 1 of what?), have a quick read of this explanation:

I have set myself a challenge and need your help, (please).

Day 1

How can it be that hard? Three hundred words? I mean, that’s basically a shopping list and a to-do list, right? Actually, you probably don’t even need the shopping list, we all have so much to do each day. That has to be three hundred words. Having said that, I don’t imagine you will get a tremendous amount of pleasure from reading my to-do list. Therefore, I need to write something of interest, gain or amusement. But still, three hundred words a day, surely I can do that. Clearly not. I decided four days ago to start, and today is my first attempt. Why is it so hard? I want to write. I have a story to tell. I want to help people. And yet, I don’t. I find every reason I can think of not to do it. What the hell is that all about? Well, I can tell you. Procrastination, due to fear of rejection, people won’t find it interesting, good enough or get value from it. No one would want to hear my story anyway, I am a nobody. A nobody with a story to tell. Isn’t everyone? Or should I say, hasn’t everyone (a stoy to tell, that is)? Tell me a bit about you and I am all ears, I love to hear about other peoples lives, the good and bad bits.

However, I have convinced myself that no one wants to hear mine. Even though so many people have suggested that I tell my story, “You really need to write this; it will help so many people.” I have spent hours thinking of book titles, front cover photos, back cover write-ups, and how I will market it, and I haven’t written a bloody word. Stop thinking of the outcome, Liz, and enjoy the journey. But I am terrified it won’t be good enough. Despite always saying if my story can help just one person, then everything I have gone through will be worth it. I don’t think I mean it. Well I do mean it, that would be incredible. But, I want to help everyone, always have, and likely always will. To my detriment, I might add. I often forget about me. You can’t help others if you don’t help yourself. Isn’t that selfish? Oh, I can’t do that; what will people think of me? How do I turn my brain off? Well, not fully, obviously. Perhaps reprogramme would be a better choice of word. 

And there is it: in just a few minutes, I wrote 300 words. You may think it is utter shit, and you are perfectly entitled to it. I may think it is utter shit (I haven’t re-read it yet), but that’s ok. I got the bloody words down and I am satisfied. Let’s see what tomorrow brings!

If you would like to join me on this journey, please like, subscribe and comment. If you make a comment, please explain what it was that made you feel that way.

Thanks, Liz

I have set myself a challenge and need your help, (please).

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As some of you may know, I have been through quite a lot, I recently had my 18th surgery and I was suicidal for a few years. I would like to write a book to tell my story in the hope that my experiences will help others.

However, I have been wanting to do this for years, taken numerous writing course but to no avail. I am currently on holiday and have just read the book Bird by Bird written by Anne Lamott. I have found numerous snippets to help me on my writing journey but the one I have decided to grab by the jugular is this. Aim to write three hundred words a day.

So, this is what I have challenged myself to do.

Anne Lamott, also discusses the fact that one should just write because no-one reads the “Shitty first draft”. I have made a decision, that I may live to regret. People are going to read my “Shitty first draft”

I will write at least three hundred words every day this year (or until I get death threats if I don’t stop writing). No particular theme planned as yet but one might materialise. These excerpts, for want of a better expression, will then be posted on my blog, without being edited (other than spelling mistakes). What you read will be exactly what I wrote straight away. I know, no writer in their right mind would do that, I am pretty sure that in no time at all it will become blatantly clear that I am not in my right mind. Besides, if you don’t take risks you will never know what you are capable of.

One of the reasons I have chosen to share my daily writing exercises is I need your help. When we first start something new there is always an element of excitement that provides momentum. However, as time goes by and the novelty wears off, so does the momentum and this is when we are prone to giving up. I want to write my book so badly that I am prepared to be vulnerable and share my ramblings with you in the hope that over time I will find my voice, my writing style and my courage to get the job done.

If you would like to join me on this journey, please subscribe to my blog. On the right hand side of the post is a box for your email address, fill that in and click on the follow button below and you will receive a notification each time I post.

If you choose to follow me and would like to encourage me to keep going please like the posts but more importantly, please leave a comment. This doesn’t have to be positive, although that is rewarding it doesn’t help me improve. Therefore, if you leave a comment, please add why you felt that way. For instance, if you like it, say why e.g. it made you laugh, it resonated with you, you like my style. Alternatively, if you didn’t like it, say why e.g it made no sense, your sentence structure needs improving, it was just plain boring.

And then…

If you don’t mind.

Give me some hints or tips on how to improve, e.g. I want to understand why you felt that way. I need more detail, give me some senses, what did you see, what could you hear. By the way, I know I haven’t used senses in my first 2 so you probably don’t need to spell that out for me. Anything you can add that will help me grow as a writer witl be gratefully received. Well, maybe not gratefully when I first read it but once I have taken my head out of the oven, calmed down and appreciated the fact you are helping me. Then I will be grateful.

I will finish this now, unedited, as stated.

I hope to have you on board, if you’re up for it, remember to add your email address and hit the follow button.

Thanks in advance,