Quick aside here, I was chatting to my friend today, who has been reading my blog, when I discovered she didn’t realise she could get sent a notification whenever I add a post. So, if you would like to make it easier to follow my blog, please click the ‘follow’ button to the right of this text, thanks.

This particular friend was also the inspiration for today’s blog. She was telling me that she wasn’t well today and that I was to excuse her if she had to leave the room promptly. I then made my way across the room and up onto the couch, no not therapy, at least not today anyway! She then said, “Says me, as you limp across the room, having had surgery”. I thought it was important to point out to her that, ‘Pain is relative’ and that it is only possible to endure the pain you are in and not that of others. Naturally, you can and probably should symapthise with another person’s pain but by no means should you diminish your own.

In fairness, this is not the first time this has happened, I have often had people start to tell me how they feel and then stop and say, “Well, I really shouldn’t complain because in comparison to you, I have nothing to complain about.”

Says who? Complain away, if for no other reason, it gives me the opportunity to stop thinking about my pain! It gives me the chance to see if and how I may be able to help you, opposed to the constant reminder that I need help from everyone else.

Who decides whose pain is worse anyway? Not me, that’s for sure, in fact, in my opinion no one does. Not wishing to repeat myself but I will because it’s my blog, ‘Pain is relative’ everyone’s experience to the same situation is different, therefore, when pain is involved each person’s experience will be different.

Ironically enough, I can tolerate major surgery quite well, fortunately, as it is a regular pass time of mine, however, when it comes to a paper cut, now you’re talking, that hurts like no ones business, then I feel loads of pain, so why is that? I think that when we know something big, surgery or otherwise, is coming then we mentally prepare ourselves to protect us and those around us who care. When we are taken by surprise, that is something totally different and if I was a gambler, I would put money on the fact that most people complain about pain when it is unexpected. Not that that is relevant, or important because that’s not actually my point, I am just throwing it out there for anyone who might have an opinion.

My point is, yes I am finally getting to it, don’t feel guilty because you believe someone else’s pain is worse than yours. Instead, be real, tell them the truth, it might be just what they need, don’t make assumptions, don’t decide for them that they don’t need to hear about your pain, that’s not your choice it’s theirs.

I would just like to mention, I am talking about physical pain here and not emotional, that is a whole different ball game and requires it’s own separate blog, if not a Theseus. For instance, when telling someone they have broken your heart, what you might mean is “you have malfunctioned my highly strung, over sensitive, unpredictable, irrational and highly temperamental emotional ability to function.” Can you actually imagine saying that to  someone, I mean, really!