Do you ever read the first few lines of a book and know you will love it? Exactly that has just happened to me. 

I find it fascinating how we all like to read different writing styles. This is my fourth book in two weeks. It’s easier to read on holiday when we don’t have all our ordinary daily tasks to do. The book I finished yesterday didn’t connect with me. I was genuinely disappointed. It was a collection of true stories, all of which had happened to the author. What happened to her was awful, frightening and sad. How she overcame it was inspiring. And yet, the book left me cold. I had no emotional connection with her. 

I decided it must be her writing style. It didn’t resonate with me. I desperately wanted it to. I kept persevering, but my feelings towards her never changed. She was somehow detached from her stories, something lacking. They were brutally honest, vulnerable and heartbreaking tales, and yet I felt no empathy. Unusual for me, last year I asked a selection of people to tell me what my best qualities were. I was working on how best to utilise my skills to serve others. Empathetic was at the top of the list. So why didn’t I feel empathy towards the author?

Last year, I started a writing course, how to write a memoir, as ultimately that is what I want to do (hence all this practising). The teacher suggests you must have moved on from what has happened to you to be able to write it objectively. Whether or not you agree with her is entirely up to you. I believe she has a point. However, I also find that when I am right in the middle of hell, it is easier to express my true emotions as opposed to writing about them retrospectively. Also, your mind has a habit of playing tricks on you. When you write about things that happened years ago, your memories may be distorted. You block things out. You alter the details. You may make them less traumatic or more so. All of these things, in my opinion, are our brain’s way of processing what has happened to us. Protecting us from the past that has damaged us in some way. One of the fears I have about writing a memoir is that I haven’t remembered things correctly and I might do myself or someone else a disservice. The teacher says to write as truthfully as you can. Therefore, that is what I’ll do.

I understand that my writing style will not be to everyone’s taste. I have accepted that. As with most things in life, you are not going to please everyone all of the time. If you think you can, you are delusional. I also know that it is one of the reasons I haven’t started my book. The fear of rejection. Someone taking, not only, all my hard work but also my experiences to pieces. This is why I am doing this challenge. Tentatively putting my toe in the water to see how the ripples flow.

A very dear friend of mine, we will call him GW, has been reading my blog. Recently, he sent me an email. Here were his thoughts:

“Fear of failure seems to be stopping you embracing the nettle, and you bounce a bit on ideas like this, and that’s a shame because I think you have it in you to write something more meaningful.”

GW – Just so you know, every time I sit down to write, I think of what you wrote. By the way, I had to look up what “embracing the nettle” meant. I know you are right. What I have noticed is that as I get to the end of what I am writing, I usually find what it is I actually want to say. What is hiding behind all the bullshit I wrote at the beginning. It’s like my brain is protecting me from my past traumas, but as I chip away at it, as the writing continues, its barriers begin to weaken, and the true meaning of the piece begins to surface. 

I imagine that’s the point of editing. You write a thousand words, of which you may only use one sentence. But that sentence may change the way people think forever.

As this challenge is all about writing and not editing, I know it will continue to have a protective layer, but that’s ok. This isn’t about an end result right now. It is all about finding my writing style, my voice and my purpose and hopefully, the end result will be helping others. Each day, I am learning and becoming less fearful. One day, I know I will be “embracing the nettle” and letting my inner self show. 

In the meantime, thank you all for your support and encouragement. If you have anything to say that will help me, please write a comment.

If you would like to join me on this journey, please like and subscribe

Thanks, Liz

If you have stumbled across my blog and are thinking “Day 8 of what? Have a quick read of this explanation:

I have set myself a challenge and need your help, (please).

For anyone reading my posts who has a story in them they are struggling to tell. I would recommend getting Anne Lamott’s book ‘Bird by Bird’. It has inspired me to create this challenge and is full of great knowledge and insight. She also has a wonderful sense of humour and writing style.

If you would like to buy ‘Bird by Bird’, please feel free to use my Amazon associate link: https://amzn.to/47Pdkx7